Jun 3, 2011
Now that I have a real internet connection.
A Typical Expressive Arts Lesson.
I will say that, with all their academic issues, these kids have no qualms about performing.
May 8, 2011
Nsima Sayings.
I am guessing that interest in my updates may have diminished because it has come to my attention that (against all odds) I have neglected to mention much of anything about the cuisine here in Malawi.
Allow me to remedy that situation in a shameless plug to boost approval ratings.
Though considerably less extreme (on the nauseating scale) than Mongolia, Malawi definitely has something special to offer the palate. We rely on what I like to call the Big Five: cabbage, okra, tomatoes (I'm cursed), pumpkin leaves (I'm still waiting for the actual pumpkins to make an appearance), and onion. We eat these on a revolving basis - depending on availability - with rice, always rice. Rice is, it should be noted, our bourgeoisie replacement for the local staple food nsima (pronounced with a swallowed 'n' + 'sima'). Basically like congealed cream-of-wheat served in palm-size "pats" and made from maize flour. Odorless, tasteless, colorless, and can't be traced.
A Malawian riddle (conveniently included in the English curriculum):
Q: What is a mountain that you climb with your hands?
A: Nsima.
A popular Malawian saying:
"That exam was simple, like eating nsima!"
It is suspected here that the world revolves, not around the sun, but around a giant pat of molten nsima. That the heart is not an organ, but a pulsating pat of nsima pumping our life blood. In fact, its possible that our veins don't hold blood, but an ever running river of nsima.
Allow me to remedy that situation in a shameless plug to boost approval ratings.
Though considerably less extreme (on the nauseating scale) than Mongolia, Malawi definitely has something special to offer the palate. We rely on what I like to call the Big Five: cabbage, okra, tomatoes (I'm cursed), pumpkin leaves (I'm still waiting for the actual pumpkins to make an appearance), and onion. We eat these on a revolving basis - depending on availability - with rice, always rice. Rice is, it should be noted, our bourgeoisie replacement for the local staple food nsima (pronounced with a swallowed 'n' + 'sima'). Basically like congealed cream-of-wheat served in palm-size "pats" and made from maize flour. Odorless, tasteless, colorless, and can't be traced.
A Malawian riddle (conveniently included in the English curriculum):
Q: What is a mountain that you climb with your hands?
A: Nsima.
A popular Malawian saying:
"That exam was simple, like eating nsima!"
It is suspected here that the world revolves, not around the sun, but around a giant pat of molten nsima. That the heart is not an organ, but a pulsating pat of nsima pumping our life blood. In fact, its possible that our veins don't hold blood, but an ever running river of nsima.
May 2, 2011
A Bicycle (Taxi) Built for Two (or Three).
The bicycle taxi (see above). The most common form of transport in Malawi, second only to foot traffic. A harrowing and often traumatic experience depending on a variety of factors including, but not limited to: the fitness level of your bicycle taxi driver, the quality of the road, and if the bicycle taxi is "bwana" (meaning high class) and has breaks, peddles, handlebars, etc or not. An unstable journey anyway, this one was made even more life-threatening by the limited availability of taxis. Fortunately this driver reasoned that if he could carry a fat woman with a bag of charcoal he could more than handle the two of us.
***
Another term break spent hitchhiking. Southern Malawi to Dar es Salaam in 4 days by any means available is pretty impressive if I do say so myself. All went well until, in desperation and fear of having to spend the night in a maize field, we had to take a ride from a car of Indian men from Zambia with guns and then subsequently stuff ourselves into the trunk of a car. Oh the things you never thought you'd do voluntarily!
With the considerable time spent in various vehicles (and inspired by the bicycle taxi experience depicted in the picture), I was able to compose the following song (sung to the tune of A Bicycle Built for Two):
Azungu Azungu (meaning "white people")
What are you doing here?
I'm half crazy all for the chance to leer.
I don't know what I want from you -
maybe 50 kwacha (Malawian currency) will do
but at the very least
you're sure a strange beast-
a woman wearing short trousers!
Apr 7, 2011
End of Term Tirade.
Having recently entered into the third toothbrush phase of my time at Nanthomba School I finally feel adequately prepared to evaluate my experience. After five months of cabbage, and crowd control, I have the following things to report: I’d kill for an ice cream sundae, the kids are great, and there are mosquitoes breeding in the toilet.
Reflecting on Term 2: The good news is that, by and large, the kids are willing, capable, and interested in learning. The bad news is that most of them are failing. Still. The way I see it, the reasons are structural. It is no surprise that these kids are falling through the cracks by the handful when they’re up against an educational system that seems intent on seeing them fail. The curriculum is designed like a CSI episode – each lesson self-contained with no basis of what came before or what will come after; no chance to build understanding. [Can I venture to surmise this might be cultural?] Instead of climbing the Ladder of Knowledge, students are left leaping from stone to stone across a river of poverty and teenage pregnancy trying to reach the promise land of secondary school.
But who am I to say? There are some who would (and have) swoop down onto Nanthomba School in traditional Malawian attire - pretending that means they're culturally accepting - and mix one part Classroom Police with two parts Angel of Education to lead wayward youth unto the light.
And Manna and free ballpoint pens rained down from Heaven. Amen.
Instead, lets talk about success. (Baby.) Focused, as we are in the western world, on achievement, it is easy to imagine that not making it across the river can only mean certain death. A subscription to My Value Judgments Weekly is only one click away and inadvertently we end up teaching kids that anything other than secondary school equals failure. Certainly we should encourage academic performance. Certainly we should reward high achievement. But to discount and demonize alternate paths and lifestyles is a failure on our part.
*I just got out of a staff meeting - Can you tell?
Reflecting on Term 2: The good news is that, by and large, the kids are willing, capable, and interested in learning. The bad news is that most of them are failing. Still. The way I see it, the reasons are structural. It is no surprise that these kids are falling through the cracks by the handful when they’re up against an educational system that seems intent on seeing them fail. The curriculum is designed like a CSI episode – each lesson self-contained with no basis of what came before or what will come after; no chance to build understanding. [Can I venture to surmise this might be cultural?] Instead of climbing the Ladder of Knowledge, students are left leaping from stone to stone across a river of poverty and teenage pregnancy trying to reach the promise land of secondary school.
But who am I to say? There are some who would (and have) swoop down onto Nanthomba School in traditional Malawian attire - pretending that means they're culturally accepting - and mix one part Classroom Police with two parts Angel of Education to lead wayward youth unto the light.
And Manna and free ballpoint pens rained down from Heaven. Amen.
Instead, lets talk about success. (Baby.) Focused, as we are in the western world, on achievement, it is easy to imagine that not making it across the river can only mean certain death. A subscription to My Value Judgments Weekly is only one click away and inadvertently we end up teaching kids that anything other than secondary school equals failure. Certainly we should encourage academic performance. Certainly we should reward high achievement. But to discount and demonize alternate paths and lifestyles is a failure on our part.
*I just got out of a staff meeting - Can you tell?
Mar 12, 2011
The Kids.
Expressive Arts Lesson
Unit 8: Making Artistic Objects out of Clay (notice how many of them made cell phones)
Thursday afternoon running club.
Mar 7, 2011
Nanthomba School.
For those of you familiar with schools you should know that even rural primary schools in Malawi cannot escape the chronic drama that plagues all institutions of learning.
White Frank, the kindergarten teacher, is having difficulty showing up to work on time/at all because his first and second wife are suing him because he has started payments for a third wife.
Louis Nkhoma, Standard 6 teacher, has been having to leave work in the middle of the day in order to eat breakfast because his wife is unable to prepare the food in time. Why is she having difficulty? Because she is 14 years old and should be in Standard 6.
The Standard 2 teacher has been accused of practicing witchcraft aimed at the headteacher. His dog is now pregnant which is proof alone.
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 13, 2011
The Best Answers.
From my most recent Life Skills Assessment.
Q: List 3 misconceptions about drug and alcohol abuse? (Who knew I'd be working for the D.A.R.E. program, right?)
A.1: tables, table stain, get your happy table [contributed by Loveness Robeni)
A.2: You. Me. Everybody HIV AIDS we be jumping. [contributed by Peter Sunday]
Choose your favorite. Personally? I'm going A.2. Its a misconception about something.
Q: List 3 misconceptions about drug and alcohol abuse? (Who knew I'd be working for the D.A.R.E. program, right?)
A.1: tables, table stain, get your happy table [contributed by Loveness Robeni)
A.2: You. Me. Everybody HIV AIDS we be jumping. [contributed by Peter Sunday]
Choose your favorite. Personally? I'm going A.2. Its a misconception about something.
Feb 12, 2011
Let's get political.
I recently read Paul Theroux’s Dark Star Safari and, while it required frequent trips to the sink to wring the arrogance out of it, the section on Malawi had bits that rang true to my experience.
He oozes (referring to the obnoxiously white 4WD International Aid SUVS that snake their way around the country) :
Its true that a significant portion of Malawi’s GDP is taken up by foreign aid organizations and, I don’t know about “unsuccessfully trying to insert their snouts” because donations pour into this country at such a rate that even middle-class Malawian families have become accustomed to hand-outs. Snout insertion in Malawi seems to require very little effort. I also have a personal vendetta against these well-equipped aid vehicles as they are inevitably the only vehicles driven by white folks and, according to my data collection and analysis, the most likely NOT to help a lonely hitchhiker in the rain.
As far as my experience where it matters (read: The School), Theroux’s disgust also rings true:
As it stands Nanthomba School is a mess. Class size stands at about 100 for all Standards, an average of 10 students/Standard pass their exams each year and maybe 2 highly-motivated students will qualify to move onto Secondary (High) School. If they can pay for it. Students in my Standard 7 class struggle to read and write in both English and Chichewa.
Yes, resources are scarce. A class of 100 has to share 5 textbooks and one set of markers (believe me, HELL is 100 7th graders sharing a single red marker), chalkboards are spray-painted cardboard and chalk are nubbins the size of my fingernails, but these are the least of the problems. Chronic teacher lateness, over-zealous discipline, a school-wide dedication to weeding school gardens instead of learning times tables and, most frighteningly, a general "whatever" attitude towards the students themselves - these are the real problems. And the ones that are fixable - if only someone would donate some initiative.
Paul argues that if the international community really wants to do African countries a favor they'll pull out all aid and leave Sisters Doin' it for Themselves. Although it goes against my grain (why not help if you can?), I have to admit Theroux has me wondering if I'm doing any good being here.
To make myself feel better:
Although I appreciate Theroux's attempt to throw me a bone (though not his attempt to make himself feel better - he, too, was a teacher in Malawi), its hard not to wonder if my legacy will be 8 months of telling people what they want for themselves.
He oozes (referring to the obnoxiously white 4WD International Aid SUVS that snake their way around the country) :
"This visible bliss on wheels, courtesy of the First World saps who had been guilt-tripped out of their money, was only one of my objections, and the pettiest. A more substantial one was the notion that after decades of charitable diligence, there were more charities in Malawi than ever. Charities and NGOs were now part of the Malawi economy, surely one of the larger parts. They were troughs into which many people were unsuccessfully trying to insert their snouts." (p.291,2003)
Its true that a significant portion of Malawi’s GDP is taken up by foreign aid organizations and, I don’t know about “unsuccessfully trying to insert their snouts” because donations pour into this country at such a rate that even middle-class Malawian families have become accustomed to hand-outs. Snout insertion in Malawi seems to require very little effort. I also have a personal vendetta against these well-equipped aid vehicles as they are inevitably the only vehicles driven by white folks and, according to my data collection and analysis, the most likely NOT to help a lonely hitchhiker in the rain.
As far as my experience where it matters (read: The School), Theroux’s disgust also rings true:
"Aliens had been helping for so long and were so deeply entrenched that Africans lost interest - if indeed they had ever had it - in doing the same sort of work themselves." (p. 293)
"Tanzanians and Malawians had seemed more supine and oblique; they had surrendered and, having abandoned any hope of things improving, were reduced to unapologetic beggary that contained a subtext of entitlement: My country has failed me, therefore you must help." (p. 353)
As it stands Nanthomba School is a mess. Class size stands at about 100 for all Standards, an average of 10 students/Standard pass their exams each year and maybe 2 highly-motivated students will qualify to move onto Secondary (High) School. If they can pay for it. Students in my Standard 7 class struggle to read and write in both English and Chichewa.
Yes, resources are scarce. A class of 100 has to share 5 textbooks and one set of markers (believe me, HELL is 100 7th graders sharing a single red marker), chalkboards are spray-painted cardboard and chalk are nubbins the size of my fingernails, but these are the least of the problems. Chronic teacher lateness, over-zealous discipline, a school-wide dedication to weeding school gardens instead of learning times tables and, most frighteningly, a general "whatever" attitude towards the students themselves - these are the real problems. And the ones that are fixable - if only someone would donate some initiative.
Paul argues that if the international community really wants to do African countries a favor they'll pull out all aid and leave Sisters Doin' it for Themselves. Although it goes against my grain (why not help if you can?), I have to admit Theroux has me wondering if I'm doing any good being here.
To make myself feel better:
"The schoolteaching experience in Africa, harder to come by, takes less money but more humility...Schoolteaching was perfect for understanding how people lived and what they wanted for themselves. And my work justified my existence in Africa." (p. 311)
Although I appreciate Theroux's attempt to throw me a bone (though not his attempt to make himself feel better - he, too, was a teacher in Malawi), its hard not to wonder if my legacy will be 8 months of telling people what they want for themselves.
International Aid at its best.
A do-good-think-later International organization outfitted this lakeside Malawian village with electric water spouts. In a country ridden with frequent blackouts lets ask ourselves how much good we're really doing.
Feb 5, 2011
Oh yeah, and there are students.
With the most unusual names. The roster is a mess of unpronounceable Chichewa names sprinkled with what seems to be any English that their parents might have heard and thrown in for good measure.
Highlights include:
Peter Sunday/Sundae (spelling differs according to his mood): A riot of a boy who has an uncanny ability to talk his way out of any situation. Also a savvy businessman - he tried to sell me the plastic bag he carries his books to school with for 200 kwacha (For comparison: A Fanta costs 70 kwacha). His family also owns the only guava tree for miles.
Heartwell Kamangwa: All the irony in the world has converged to make this boy the one who carries his intestines to school in a bag. Incidentally his heart is fine.
Ngalame Andrissana Mowawaa: I avoid calling this girl by name.
Briefing Blessings Abel Davies Taonani: Son of the headteacher who has wormed his way into Standard 7 at the age of 10. Believes his destiny is most certainly not in this village.
Michael Daniel Noah: Or Daniel Michael Noah. Or Noah Michael Daniel. Unclear.
Bornface Kind: With a name like that do you need a personality description?
Highlights include:
Peter Sunday/Sundae (spelling differs according to his mood): A riot of a boy who has an uncanny ability to talk his way out of any situation. Also a savvy businessman - he tried to sell me the plastic bag he carries his books to school with for 200 kwacha (For comparison: A Fanta costs 70 kwacha). His family also owns the only guava tree for miles.
Heartwell Kamangwa: All the irony in the world has converged to make this boy the one who carries his intestines to school in a bag. Incidentally his heart is fine.
Ngalame Andrissana Mowawaa: I avoid calling this girl by name.
Briefing Blessings Abel Davies Taonani: Son of the headteacher who has wormed his way into Standard 7 at the age of 10. Believes his destiny is most certainly not in this village.
Michael Daniel Noah: Or Daniel Michael Noah. Or Noah Michael Daniel. Unclear.
Bornface Kind: With a name like that do you need a personality description?
A Good Day.
Visa complications means a trip to a real market by car.
In the plethora of questions I have about my life here 'Why we have a refrigerator in a house without electricity?' has not made the Daily Top 10.
Jan 23, 2011
Blast from the Past.
Tales from a distant land. For those of you who remember this report from a different time:
You might (might not) be interested in the following article
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/01/02/welcome_to_minegolia
Things I've Learned About Politics/Econimics/Media in Mongolia:
(lecturers include the editor of the first free newspaper in Mongolia, the Sec. General of the MPRP--the former Communist and current dominant party and others)
-Despite Mongolia being the classic American example of "Look! Democracy can work anywhere!" The Mongolian government is actually quite corrupt. They also seem to have a chronic problem with governments (or the dominant parliament party) resigning party-way through their 4 year stint.
-The Media is terrible. If tv and radio stations and newspapers aren't owned by a political party, then they're private companies which just then succumb to "envelope journalism" (i.e. the practice of printing anything if one pays for it).
-The Democratic Party can't get it together. Other opposition is seriously crazy.
-Mining is the biggest issue in Mongolia today.
Things I've Learned About Religion in Mongolia"
(lectures on Buddhism, Shamanism, Christianity and Catholicism)
-Similar to Christmas Catholics in the US, most Mongolians are Border-line Buddhists.
-Although devastating (as far as religious persecution) the removal of religion during the Socialist period has now bred an era of religious tolerance that is rarely seen in the world today.
-Suffering from Mental Illness? Become a Shaman and all your symptoms will disappear! (other than the bit about hearing voices, but don't worry, that's "normal")
-Mormon missionaries wear suits and ride bicycles, even in Mongolia.
-Mining is the biggest issue in Mongolia today.
Things I've Learned About Environment in Mongolia:
(lecturers weren't worth mentioning)
-The number one cause of desertification in Mongolia is overgrazing (Mrs. Will was right!)
-I don't know much about science.
-The more pixels you want, the more expensive the satellite photo is. (possibly the worst lecture in the whole lot)
-Mining is the biggest issue in Mongolia today.
You might (might not) be interested in the following article
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/01/02/welcome_to_minegolia
Jan 22, 2011
Joining the Ranks.
Thats right folks, you've heard correctly. Its finally happened. After months of anticipation, I have finally been selected to join the ranks of a society so elite only a few non-Peace Corps Volunteers can claim membership. Based solely on merit, luck, and, of course, location, location, location, I have been deemed worthy.
(No, Lonely Planet has not yet commissioned me to write The Pessimist's Guide to World Travel.)
I have now earned the right to stand up in whatever middle-class first-world neighborhood I'll spend the majority of my life and say "Yes, I have been to darkest Africa and, yes, I have the disease to prove it!
I have Malaria and in case you didn't know I'm from America so this is a big fucking deal.
White People With Malaria (WPWM, pronounced 'Whip Wem')
Meetings Thursdays 6pm at your local Anglican Church.
At least its probably malaria. Called the silent killer for good reason (a malaria-carrying mosquito has no whine and leaves no mark when it bites) apparently the malaria parasite can also "hide" in the blood during testing leaving one with only Death Flu-like symptoms for diagnosis. Of course, considering the rash and low white blood cell count, it could also be Typhoid Fever.
But, as the doctor said,"Probably not. Maybe typhoid fever. Maybe not today. Thank you."
(No, Lonely Planet has not yet commissioned me to write The Pessimist's Guide to World Travel.)
I have now earned the right to stand up in whatever middle-class first-world neighborhood I'll spend the majority of my life and say "Yes, I have been to darkest Africa and, yes, I have the disease to prove it!
I have Malaria and in case you didn't know I'm from America so this is a big fucking deal.
White People With Malaria (WPWM, pronounced 'Whip Wem')
Meetings Thursdays 6pm at your local Anglican Church.
At least its probably malaria. Called the silent killer for good reason (a malaria-carrying mosquito has no whine and leaves no mark when it bites) apparently the malaria parasite can also "hide" in the blood during testing leaving one with only Death Flu-like symptoms for diagnosis. Of course, considering the rash and low white blood cell count, it could also be Typhoid Fever.
But, as the doctor said,"Probably not. Maybe typhoid fever. Maybe not today. Thank you."
Jan 15, 2011
A Few Highlights.
The line for government subsidized fertilizer.
End of Term Awards Ceremony.
Home from the Water Hole.
I'm getting started on the curriculum.
Which is ridiculous.
Let me give you an example:
Unit 14: The Cholera Outbreak (how quaint, this is relevant-learning English)
Activity 14.1: Reading a Story.
Steps:
1. Prepare yourself to read a story.
2. Write the following words on the chalkboard: chief, trousers, widespread panic, bowels, neighborhood.
3. Erase the words from the chalkboard.
4. Read the story out loud to the learners (also known as students)
Activities 14.2, 14.3, and 14.4 are Listening to a Radio Broadcast (I teach in a shed so it alarms me that the government thinks I have a radio), Identifying Plants (obviously sequential) and Matching Phrasal Verbs, respectively.
I will have to admit that when I first thought about teaching I had big ideas about teaching IDEAS (read: IDEALS read: MY IDEALS) and instead I'm teaching Phrasal Verbs and How the Body Changes. Although perhaps in some ways its a blessing considering that the most frustrating thing about my students here is their inability to think independently. A "What do you think..." question gets blank stairs and downcast eyes. My favorite lesson so far:
Activity 13.2: Identifying Fact and Opinion
The examples my students gave me:
Nanthomba School has 18 teachers. Fact.
Nanthomba School has 1 teacher. Opinion.
No, actually, that would be a lie.
Let me give you an example:
Unit 14: The Cholera Outbreak (how quaint, this is relevant-learning English)
Activity 14.1: Reading a Story.
Steps:
1. Prepare yourself to read a story.
2. Write the following words on the chalkboard: chief, trousers, widespread panic, bowels, neighborhood.
3. Erase the words from the chalkboard.
4. Read the story out loud to the learners (also known as students)
Activities 14.2, 14.3, and 14.4 are Listening to a Radio Broadcast (I teach in a shed so it alarms me that the government thinks I have a radio), Identifying Plants (obviously sequential) and Matching Phrasal Verbs, respectively.
I will have to admit that when I first thought about teaching I had big ideas about teaching IDEAS (read: IDEALS read: MY IDEALS) and instead I'm teaching Phrasal Verbs and How the Body Changes. Although perhaps in some ways its a blessing considering that the most frustrating thing about my students here is their inability to think independently. A "What do you think..." question gets blank stairs and downcast eyes. My favorite lesson so far:
Activity 13.2: Identifying Fact and Opinion
The examples my students gave me:
Nanthomba School has 18 teachers. Fact.
Nanthomba School has 1 teacher. Opinion.
No, actually, that would be a lie.
Jan 9, 2011
Pangono Pangono (little by little)
Little by little I find myself adjusting to life here. I would say I'm on the upswing, but as we all know about swing-sets, the upswing is followed quickly by a plunging backwards downswing.
Things that make me feel like I'm really succeeding here:
- Recreationally spraying clouds of mosquitoes with Doom while sitting safely inside my mosquito net
- Being able to recognize most of my students usually sometimes out of the crowds of youth in school uniforms all with the same haircut
- Finally having the urge to vomit overcome debilitating fear of creepy-crawlies in the outside drop toilet at night (yes, Hannah Sickness is alive and well!)
-Realizing the flour used for frying onions is infested with bugs. Eating onions anyway.
Things that make me want to jump the next flight home:
- Being constantly covered in a layer of chalk dust, charcoal, and flies.
- Heroically carrying all the water for the household on my head (feeling very cultural) only to have my skirt blown off by a rogue wind gust. Thanks to the ever-present swarm of over-eager children who chased the escapist down and captured it.
- Being lulled into the familiar feeling of Hannah Sickness only to learn of a pending Cholera outbreak in the next village.
Ah well, The Universe Seeks Balance. [Also possibly the explanation as to why Republicans have overtaken Congress.]
Things that make me feel like I'm really succeeding here:
- Recreationally spraying clouds of mosquitoes with Doom while sitting safely inside my mosquito net
- Being able to recognize most of my students usually sometimes out of the crowds of youth in school uniforms all with the same haircut
- Finally having the urge to vomit overcome debilitating fear of creepy-crawlies in the outside drop toilet at night (yes, Hannah Sickness is alive and well!)
-Realizing the flour used for frying onions is infested with bugs. Eating onions anyway.
Things that make me want to jump the next flight home:
- Being constantly covered in a layer of chalk dust, charcoal, and flies.
- Heroically carrying all the water for the household on my head (feeling very cultural) only to have my skirt blown off by a rogue wind gust. Thanks to the ever-present swarm of over-eager children who chased the escapist down and captured it.
- Being lulled into the familiar feeling of Hannah Sickness only to learn of a pending Cholera outbreak in the next village.
Ah well, The Universe Seeks Balance. [Also possibly the explanation as to why Republicans have overtaken Congress.]
Jan 3, 2011
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