Stranded

at Mangochi turnoff.

The Best Answers.

From my most recent Life Skills Assessment.

Q: List 3 misconceptions about drug and alcohol abuse? (Who knew I'd be working for the D.A.R.E. program, right?)

A.1: tables, table stain, get your happy table [contributed by Loveness Robeni)

A.2: You. Me. Everybody HIV AIDS we be jumping. [contributed by Peter Sunday]

Choose your favorite. Personally? I'm going A.2. Its a misconception about something.

Daily Chores.

Let's get political.

I recently read Paul Theroux’s Dark Star Safari and, while it required frequent trips to the sink to wring the arrogance out of it, the section on Malawi had bits that rang true to my experience.

He oozes (referring to the obnoxiously white 4WD International Aid SUVS that snake their way around the country) :

"This visible bliss on wheels, courtesy of the First World saps who had been guilt-tripped out of their money, was only one of my objections, and the pettiest. A more substantial one was the notion that after decades of charitable diligence, there were more charities in Malawi than ever. Charities and NGOs were now part of the Malawi economy, surely one of the larger parts. They were troughs into which many people were unsuccessfully trying to insert their snouts." (p.291,2003)

Its true that a significant portion of Malawi’s GDP is taken up by foreign aid organizations and, I don’t know about “unsuccessfully trying to insert their snouts” because donations pour into this country at such a rate that even middle-class Malawian families have become accustomed to hand-outs. Snout insertion in Malawi seems to require very little effort. I also have a personal vendetta against these well-equipped aid vehicles as they are inevitably the only vehicles driven by white folks and, according to my data collection and analysis, the most likely NOT to help a lonely hitchhiker in the rain.

As far as my experience where it matters (read: The School), Theroux’s disgust also rings true:

"Aliens had been helping for so long and were so deeply entrenched that Africans lost interest - if indeed they had ever had it - in doing the same sort of work themselves." (p. 293)

"Tanzanians and Malawians had seemed more supine and oblique; they had surrendered and, having abandoned any hope of things improving, were reduced to unapologetic beggary that contained a subtext of entitlement: My country has failed me, therefore you must help." (p. 353)

As it stands Nanthomba School is a mess. Class size stands at about 100 for all Standards, an average of 10 students/Standard pass their exams each year and maybe 2 highly-motivated students will qualify to move onto Secondary (High) School. If they can pay for it. Students in my Standard 7 class struggle to read and write in both English and Chichewa.

Yes, resources are scarce. A class of 100 has to share 5 textbooks and one set of markers (believe me, HELL is 100 7th graders sharing a single red marker), chalkboards are spray-painted cardboard and chalk are nubbins the size of my fingernails, but these are the least of the problems. Chronic teacher lateness, over-zealous discipline, a school-wide dedication to weeding school gardens instead of learning times tables and, most frighteningly, a general "whatever" attitude towards the students themselves - these are the real problems. And the ones that are fixable - if only someone would donate some initiative.

Paul argues that if the international community really wants to do African countries a favor they'll pull out all aid and leave Sisters Doin' it for Themselves. Although it goes against my grain (why not help if you can?), I have to admit Theroux has me wondering if I'm doing any good being here.

To make myself feel better:

"The schoolteaching experience in Africa, harder to come by, takes less money but more humility...Schoolteaching was perfect for understanding how people lived and what they wanted for themselves. And my work justified my existence in Africa." (p. 311)

Although I appreciate Theroux's attempt to throw me a bone (though not his attempt to make himself feel better - he, too, was a teacher in Malawi), its hard not to wonder if my legacy will be 8 months of telling people what they want for themselves.

International Aid at its best.

A do-good-think-later International organization outfitted this lakeside Malawian village with electric water spouts. In a country ridden with frequent blackouts lets ask ourselves how much good we're really doing.

Oh yeah, and there are students.

With the most unusual names. The roster is a mess of unpronounceable Chichewa names sprinkled with what seems to be any English that their parents might have heard and thrown in for good measure.

Highlights include:

Peter Sunday/Sundae (spelling differs according to his mood): A riot of a boy who has an uncanny ability to talk his way out of any situation. Also a savvy businessman - he tried to sell me the plastic bag he carries his books to school with for 200 kwacha (For comparison: A Fanta costs 70 kwacha). His family also owns the only guava tree for miles.

Heartwell Kamangwa: All the irony in the world has converged to make this boy the one who carries his intestines to school in a bag. Incidentally his heart is fine.

Ngalame Andrissana Mowawaa: I avoid calling this girl by name.

Briefing Blessings Abel Davies Taonani: Son of the headteacher who has wormed his way into Standard 7 at the age of 10. Believes his destiny is most certainly not in this village.

Michael Daniel Noah: Or Daniel Michael Noah. Or Noah Michael Daniel. Unclear.

Bornface Kind: With a name like that do you need a personality description?

A Good Day.

Visa complications means a trip to a real market by car.


In the plethora of questions I have about my life here 'Why we have a refrigerator in a house without electricity?' has not made the Daily Top 10.